my story, my voice
On my playlist:
Can You Stand the Rain - Boyz II Men
“ooooh. Nayhooooooo. Badadadaum nayhoo…”
“The power of perspective is that you can put an orange on a pedestal and ask three different filmmakers to make a film about it. You will get three different films, all meaningful in their own unique way.” (paraphrase from Pete Nicks. In Proximity Podcast, Episode title “Ryan Coogler and Pete Nicks” published Sun, Jul 23, 2023)
The concept expressed in this quote from my favorite documentary producer offers a perspective shift for me when I’m thinking about my voice and my story. Sure, there are many people who grew up in a similar neighborhood with a similar family structure and a similar set of values and experiences. The value is in my voice telling the story from my unique perspective. To reference the quote, yes, it’s the same orange. But how I experienced that orange, the words I choose and the ones I omit, the way I am shaped and affected by the orange is a unique story that is all my own. That story is worth telling.
take a listen to the digital journal.
For so long, I determined that my story was not unique enough, not interesting enough, and nothing anyone would ever want to hear. I have since decided that my story is absolutely unique, it is interesting, and the healing and catharsis I get from telling it is what makes it worth sharing. Also, my children and their children will need my story to understand and craft parts of their own story. My story in my own voice is precious to them. It’s an heirloom only I can gift to them. And so I will! I’ve talked myself out of it for this long because I decided I was not a skilled enough storyteller to share my story. Guess what? I need not be a skilled storyteller. I need only use my own voice. With all of its imperfections and flaws and beauty. This voice will evolve over time. As I am intentional about honing different techniques and exploring different mediums, I will undoubtedly become more skilled in the art of storytelling. But right now, I am at step one. And step one is simply telling the story.
As much value as there is in capturing my thoughts and experiences in my journals, there is just as much value in re-reading words I’ve written. Here are a few insights I gain from reading my old journals and the lessons contained within them:
reminders of God’s power, might, love, and faithfulness - Reading about situations I have overcome, and tragedies I have survived (as well as those I have been protected from) remind me in no uncertain terms that God has my back. He always has and He always will.
evidence of personal growth - My past journal entries offer proof that I have journeyed from one point to another. There is progressive growth happening, even when I can’t see it.
“Cause I need somebody who will stand by me. Through the good times and bad times they will always, always be right there.” Can You Stand the Rain, Boyz II Men
insight into areas of opportunity - In revisiting past journals, I am often reminded of unfinished lessons that I’ve compartmentalized. These are usually lessons that need my attention & intentionality so I can continue to improve and grow in those areas.
explanations of current behavior - Reading my previous journals helps me connect the dots between some of the results I am currently experiencing and the actions that have contributed to those results over time. It can be easy to forget what I’ve sown when it’s time to reap, especially if the fruit is bitter. This seed evidence helps me avoid the pointless act of blaming others (or misplacing credit). That way, I can focus on planting more favorable seeds and less unfavorable seeds for future fruit. Also, old entries help to explain my contribution to my kids' behavior. Some of those parent moments of “Where in the world did you get that from?!” become much clearer after reading old journals. lol
Allow me to leave you with a few questions:
What is your story? Are you sharing it? Are you doing so in your own, authentic voice? Why or why not?
If you are telling your story through a shareable medium, I’d love to check it out! Email or DM me.
I pray something you have read here inspires, empowers, or encourages you to be brave, be honest, and be well.
Until next time,
- nikk
Note: although AI is a super dope tool, all of these words are written directly from my own mind, unenhanced by technology. :)