is my husband my best friend?
On my playlist:
“I wanna know you in and out, I wanna know what you’re all about. I wanna know what makes you laugh. I wanna know about your past. I wanna know how you move. I wanna know so I can move too, I wanna know. But ya telling me I’m just a friend, tellin’ me I’m just a friend.”
Just A Friend, Mario
As I consider whether or not my hubby is my best friend, I can’t help but think back to our beginnings. The song on my playlist reminds me so much of being in high school, where my husband and I first met. Roaming the halls of that building with our friends and peers is where we got to know one another, built a friendship and, ultimately, formed the foundation for what would become our marriage. Only weeks away from our ninth-year wedding anniversary, I consider the question, “Is my husband my best friend?” In order to answer this question, I have to first ask myself a few more: “What is a best friend? What is a husband? And what do I actually want (as opposed to what I think I should want based on outside opinions). I explore these questions on the podcast in the episode titled: ‘Hubby, Lover, AND Best Friend?’
take a listen to the digital journal.
A few quick Google searches helped me build a glossary, of sorts, as I explored this question. Check out the definitions below:
With these definitions in mind, I am inclined to conclude that I do not consider my husband my best friend, nor do I want him to be. Yes, I want us to have a close bond, share the deepest parts of our lives and have fun together. But I would much prefer the designation of ‘covenant partner’ to ‘best friend’. That distinction provides clarity and a weightiness that I personally appreciate. In my book, there’s nothing that trumps a covenant partner. Our bond is the highest priority in relation to the other relationships in my life. Giving our relationship that distinct designation helps me to keep it in it’s rightful place. Don’t get me wrong, I can understand and appreciate couples who deem one another best friends. I just happen to need and want that distinction. I have learned about myself that exclusivity is a feature I seek in my relationships. The two of us sharing something that no one else does is what makes what is already special even more so. For me, that is true in every relationship, but especially in my marriage. I am fully aware that as I mature as a woman and a wife, as our marriage continues to evolve over the years, the opinions I’ve shared here may change. But for now, covenant partner is where it’s at!
“You can call me anytime you like, doesn’t matter day or night. We can do whatever you want to do it’s up to you.” Just a Friend, Mario
how about you?
Do you consider your spouse your best friend? Why or why not? Is there a different distinction or designation you prefer to use instead? Tell me about it!
Thank you for being here. I pray something you have read here inspires, empowers, or encourages you to be brave, be honest, and be well.
Until next time,
- nikk
Pssst! Want to walk down memory lane with me? Check out this post full of high-school-era pictures of my husband and I.
Note: although AI is a super dope tool, all of these words are written directly from my own mind, unenhanced by technology. :)