pursuing courage

On my playlist:

Strength, Courage, & Wisdom - India.Arie

“In my head there lives a dream that I want to see in the sun. Behind my eyes there is a me that I’ve been hiding for much too long.”

Hey there!

It’s the first blog of 2024 and I am glad to see you here! Whenever you happen to be reading this, welcome! Here’s a rare in-real-time entry to encourage us as we start our year off with intention. I’m doing a new thing today - working from an open area in downtown Houston. That may seem very boring and vanilla to some readers but it is actually a pretty big deal for me. 

I’m not sure if I have always had some level of social anxiety but in recent years (the last 10 or so), it has become more prominent in my life. There have been times when I opted out of attending an event or gathering to avoid the anxiety that comes along uninvited every time I’m faced with the thought of a crowd. Rumbly tummy, sweaty everything, racing thoughts, hurried breathing; it sucks! If I could have avoided this scenario today, I certainly would have. 

take a listen to the digital journal.

My husband and I drove together to drop our son off at his new school. It’s a well-regarded private school here in our city that specializes in educating learners with neurological differences. (My son was diagnosed with Autism as a toddler). We have prayed, searched, and believed for the next phase in our son’s journey and it is finally here! We are so blessed that he is able to attend and we both wanted to take part in this special day. That meant that once the drop-off was done, I would accompany my husband to his downtown office and work from there. He assured me that there were plenty of spaces to work from. The remote work is no barrier, I am blessed to be a digital nomad as an entrepreneurial consultant so I can work from anywhere. I simply prefer the comfort and safety of my own home. I can predict what will happen, no one will be there but me, and I am free from the task of mounting the bravery it takes to navigate the unknown. 

Today when I arrived at the building, my husband escorted me around showing me the various options to set up shop for the day and tackle my to-do list. I was so nervous! I felt everyone was looking at me (they were not) and that everyone could hear my critical inner thoughts (not one person was concerned in the least). As I searched for the bathroom, walking in circles like a dazed tourist, I felt a wave of shame, annoyance, and panic threaten to overtake me. “What is your deal, girl?! Get it together!” I silently chastised. After several failed attempts to use a code to access the restroom, I finally managed to open the door. I huffed in and exclaimed out loud, “Oh Lord! I’m so uncomfortable. Is this going to be a terrible day?!” And in that moment, it hit me, like a refreshing splash of icy water: you choose. You decide if it will be a terrible day or not. I reminded myself, “You know several things to be true: This is the day the Lord has made. I can choose to rejoice and be glad in it. He promises to will never leave me nor forsake me. He is my refuge in times of trouble. He has promised me, Lo, I am with you even until the end of the age. Now Nikk, are you going to live as though you believe or nah?” After my internal pep talk, I realized two things. 1. I was going to change my posture and my perspective to turn this day around. and 2. I want what God has for me on the other side of comfort. 

“I close my eyes and I think of all the things that I want to see. Cause I know that I’ve opened up my heart, I know that anything I want can be”.

- Strength, Courage, & Wisdom - India.Arie

Beyond the place where I can predict what will happen, who I will encounter, and what challenges I will face; far past the scenarios where I can rest on my education or experience, miles away from the places and spaces my feet have traveled thus far; beyond the realm that I can think or imagine: I want the provision of paths untraveled. How will I ever encounter the blessings I’ve been praying and planting for, much less claim them for myself, if I never venture beyond what I know? 

Do I not trust that His protection will walk beside me? Do I not believe that His presence has already gone before me to prepare the way? Do I not trust that He is the God of the perfect plan; the creator of both the Heavens and the Earth and everything within them? Oh me of little faith! My God performs miracles with a thought and commands all elements with less than a whisper. Surely, he can navigate me through a day of co-working amongst strangers! Surely, he can lead me through any unknown place to a certain and destined future. Surely He has proven that He is both able AND faithful! Oh that I might trust Him and take Him at His word in this season. Oh that I might actually believe Him for the miracles He has promised. Oh, that I might walk as though He will surely direct my path and light my way. Lord, teach me how to trust You. Teach me how to move bravely in the face of Your power. There is no one or nothing more reliable than You. 

That said, I am moving bravely forward this year. Personally, professionally, and spiritually; I’m going to do what the old church folks taught when I was younger. I’m going to test and see that the Lord is GOODT!    

Stay tuned for the move of His hand. I’ll be sure to share. ;) 

So let it be.

- Strength, Courage, & Wisdom, India.Arie

If you want to commit to seeking His face this year, trusting that He will be found, I invite you to check out the prayer and fast I am facilitating through my operations consulting firm, Thrive Business Support. Listen to the Thrive Support podcast to learn more and click here to register for the fast. 

Do tell!

What has you excited and expectant this year? Email journeyofnikk@gmail.com or connect on socials @journeyofnikk to share.

Thank you for being here. I’m praying for a courageous 2024 for you and yours! I pray something you have read here inspires, empowers, or encourages you to be brave, be honest, and be well.

Until next time,

- nikk

Note: although AI is a super dope tool, all of these words are written directly from my own mind, unenhanced by technology. :)